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Channel: Stunted Adults » Thank God I (married) A Country Boy
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Bring it on Middle America

I’m headed to the Heartland for the weekend. If I haven’t been detained for public dancing, I’ll be back on Tuesday. PS — My husband’s uncle said the following: “I heard you were coming this weekend so...

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Just a Regular Monday with my In-Laws

I spent yesterday morning at Teeter’s Sugar Shack with my father-in-law. You read that right. Teeter’s.  Sugar.  Shack. While that would make an excellent name for a strip club in Dillon, Texas, it is...

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Apparently, I Live in Arlen, Texas

Last week, my husband got a call from our neighbor who was doing a little light home remodeling that involved removing some baseboards.  Because it was the night before garbage pick-up on our block,...

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Death by Deer: A Tale in which I Save My Husband’s Life and He Doesn’t...

My husband and I went hiking in Yosemite National Park. Everything was glorious. We were just happily traipsing along in the woods when, suddenly, danger struck. I froze. My husband, however, continued...

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A Lot of Circumstances and a Little Pomp

This morning, my hands started to shake.  I became nervous to open the freezer.  I felt the urge to buy a piece of NASCAR merch.   I started wondering if there would be a talking teddy bear on my...

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How to Make Home Depot Your B*tch

Almost five years ago, my husband and I bought a house.  Calling our house a fixer-upper would be generous, and, because our grasp on both reality and good decision-making is loose, we decided to fix...

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Adventures in Stupid Cooking

As ErinGoBrawl explained earlier this week, I have long dabbled in the art that is Stupid Food with her and BigBrawler.  Recently, the dudes in my life found a way to kick things up a notch in that...

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Babies, Roast Raccoon, and Chakras: A Rural Yuletide Tale

Back in 2006, after more than four years together and just after the time period for an annulment on our marriage had expired, Country Boy decided to take me to his maternal grandparents’ farm in...

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